Clik here to view.
Soucouyant
by Jeff Sawyer soucouyant (noun) A night witch who sucks people’s blood, sheds her skin, and can turn herself into a ball of fire and fly. ‘Soucouyant’ comes from West Indian creole. The word...
View ArticleClik here to view.
EMERGENCY MUSTACHES ARRIVE IN TURKEY
ERCIS, Turkey – Truckloads of emergency mustaches began arriving today to aid desperate survivors of the recent quake here. Even some 65 hours after the major trembler struck, mustaches were being...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Clik here to view.
Clik here to view.
NEW ELECTRIC FACEBOOK BUTTONS
In a disturbing new development – another being the Nantucket Heights development going up on the edge of town, the name being clearly unsound since Nantucket is at sea level – people have begun...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Why I’m Not Running for President of the United States
Reason #1 I’m not running for President: Prefer British version of Top Gear Reason #2 I’m not running for President: Can’t locate most countries on map Reason #3 I’m not running for President: Really...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Clik here to view.
Clik here to view.
The Hell Above
By Jeff Sawyer It’s confirmed: we have squirrels in the attic. Not in the metaphorical, He’s got squirrels in the attic way, though frequent readers know this can never be entirely ruled out, but in...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Squirrels 1, Sawyers 0
The story continues from last week… You will recall that the plan to remove squirrels from our attic entailed opening the hatch in the ceiling of the spare bedroom closet, poking my head up there with...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Rise of the Planet of the Squirrels
Part III, the denouement by Jeff Sawyer No one knows when the gray squirrels became carnivorous and learned to parachute. Not even the Mayans predicted it, and they forewarned of great floods and...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Kevin Pollak Has Exquisite Taste
Any fans of comic/actor Kevin Pollak out there? I just won a contest on Kevin Pollak’s Chat Show by writing his new Larry King impression. The line he did as Larry: “I have one skin tag on my back for...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Clik here to view.
Least Popular Celebrity Google Searches of 2011
Snooki talent About 281 Google search results How many Oscars does Steven Seagal have 0 Google search results Herman Cain Munster About 485 Google search results In what movies has Mitt Romney played...
View ArticleClik here to view.
I DO. I DID? I DON’T. New wedding vows for the 21st century.
The divorce rate in America hovers at around 50% and that’s one in two which must be quite a surprise to the other spouse. You can read about it in Divorce Magazine, the existence of which is equally...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Secrets Web Writers Don’t Want You to Know!
Which headline would you click on: Are You Thrifty? or Are You A Tightwad? Bill Maher, host of HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher” recently wrote in the New York Times: “New Rule: Internet headlines...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Clik here to view.
A 9-URL Intermission: this week in popular culture
Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear: the most beautiful car ever made 5 the Brits Don’t Get Chart in an actual math textbook Blamestorming: Office Jargon Update Strangest Sights on Google Earth New York Public...
View ArticleClik here to view.
I’m a Stranger Here Myself
“Think! Think! Think!” I said to myself, substituting “pizza” for “think.” Continue reading →
View ArticleClik here to view.